I AM. Are you?

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be a part of Winterfest in Arlington, TX. For those of you who may not know, it is a big "youth rally" type gathering. I went most of my years in middle and high school but it was somehow different this year. Not sure if that's the grown up side of me or an actual fact. The theme was The Way...looking at the seven I AM statements of Jesus in the book of John. There were five speakers, three days, and one purpose (see what I did there :). Basically the same premise as when I was growing up, but with less "rally" aspect. No Friday night concert from a Christian band. Only one t-shirt booth. More Christian college booths. Lots more singing. Laughter til I cried and great lessons.

The whole idea was to withdraw from ourselves and realize what God has done, what he is doing and what he will always do. The core of His being is a multifaceted diamond that includes all of the statements. I was reminded of how unlikely it was that one man would fulfill this many prophesies.

I AM the way, the truth and the life.....

I AM the vine.....

I AM the good shepherd....

I AM the gate....

I AM the light.....

I AM the bread of life....

I AM the resurrection and the life.....


What can you do besides lay yourself down at his feet?! The word "the" is singular. His loving arms not only point the way but show it. He is the truth we search for. When we remain connected to Him, the pressures of life are bearable and when we are broken, His power is made known. He is the voice we need to listen to and know by heart. The gatekeeper has the "all-access pass" and is the safest person to know. His light casts out the darkness and calls people to change. Three times the word LIFE is used in these statements: He sustains us, He gives us a purpose, He gives joy. The fact that he has risen and death could not hold him is the best "ending" and perfect "beginning".
My talk with the Junior girls in my hotel room was uplifting. It amazes me how much they've grown in the past 4 years that I've known them. Wow! They will do great things for the Kingdom and I'm so privileged to be a part of it.

Are you ready to be who you were created to be? There are days when I wish I knew the future and exactly who I am going to be, but then I would miss the blessings along the way. Live the Life that is within you!!

After all it's all about Love

Today was another one of those days that I learned the same lesson in 5 different ways. The theme was the same. Each point connected back to the center, as spokes on a wheel. First, came class time where I sat by someone I respect greatly. I knew the question would come, but I was not ready for how it would affect me. My emotions won out and another friend jumped in, with only the most gracious encouragement. I am thankful for the uplifting words shared from both of them. In service, we talked on the topic of love. Our preacher did a wonderful job of approaching the subject, saying that it could be boring, something we had heard before. Yet if we give love the only meaning that truly defines it, then we bring new life to it.
I will add some more points from the sermon as this post continues, but I want to also mention the book series that I have been reading (recommended by my Mom): the Bailey Flanigan series by Karen Kingsbury. There are 4 books: Leaving, Learning, Longing and Loving. I saw myself in every page of those books. Searching for my place in the world, leaning on my family and faith in God, facing trials and fear, longing for an earthly husband, yet longing for God's love with each passing day. The author writes of God's plans for our lives, waiting on His timing, and praying despite our feelings. God is speaking to us if we choose to listen.
The messages from those books were still in my mind today as I listened to the sermon. We use the word love too often. I love being outdoors, I love playing games, I love...when love cannot be separated from God and how we love others. It is CORE. Love pays the price. Love risks forgiving. Love makes us new people. God's Love does that. Love is demonstrated. Love captured your heart.

Jesus is the one that defines love. He demonstrated it. He paid the price. He risked forgiving us. He made us new. He captured my heart.

One of my friends from my story this morning pulled me aside after service and introduced me to someone. It was a 10 year old girl from Rwanda. He said to her, "I want you to be just like her (meaning me) when you grow up." Heart overflowing...I did not deserve such a compliment. It once again tied into the idea of love, proving how much I was first loved and how much love I have to give to others. Finally today, I went with the youth group to see Les Miserables (my second time). Of course I cried again, but I was impressed by the amount of high schoolers that did as well. For those of you that don't know the plot line, it is a story about grace and love. The first act of grace and redemption causes several other lives to be positively changed. Each character has the choice to respond in thankfulness or guilt. Each character has his or her own faults and whether the gifts are deserved or not they are given.

One of the final lines states: To love another person is to see the face of God.

I believe this to be very true. Love is demonstrated. There are no greater commands than to love God then love others. I am still learning but I'm glad God is teaching me these lessons. He knows exactly what my heart needs. How is your heart? May love and grace reside there always.

2.0.1.3

Made it to the year 2013...never thought it would be here. I do not normally make "New Year's resolutions"  but I do like to look on the past year to see what I learned and how I can be better for the future. God has done some amazing things in my heart that I never anticipated in 2012. In no particular order, here are a few things I learned:

He taught me how I can be independent yet dependent on Him. I am still learning the balance.

He taught me through life in two other countries, Zambia in Peru, how to appreciate people for   who they are, see the best in them, and allow them to touch my life.

He taught me through my times of contentment how good He is, but reminded me in my times of despair how good He is as well.
             John 16:32-33
             Jeremiah 29:11-13

He asked me to forgive and then heal.

He asked me to be patient and earnest in prayer, finding myself as seek His face.

He provided opportunities for my gifts to be used for His glory.


When I look back on 2012 in this way, I cannot help but be thankful. The people that formed my year are a blessing that I will treasure, whether we see each other every day or once a year. I cannot begin to imagine what God has in store for me in 2013 :)

What did you learn in 2012? How will it drive or change your 2013?

Definition

Pitch. It can be a noun or a verb, black tar or to throw a baseball, for singing or the movement of a ship. This word describes my present state. I have been thrown a pitch that could be black or brilliant. It could prove that I can sing or it could move me where I don't want to be. I was not ready for the pitch by any means, in fact it hit me in the back of my head. I am still dizzy with confusion and not sure what direction is forward. The definition is still to be determined. Here is what it is not....
It is not going to define me before it changes me. This pitch can be learned and learned from. Some people have to learn everything the hard way. I've never thought of myself as one of those people but that does not mean I am unbreakable. I get bruised and beaten the same...the key is to know who the Coach is and hear His voice. When I choose to go my own way, that's when the pitch turns black....that's when I get tossed overboard to drown, never resting...that's when the wild ball hits and I am unprepared.

There is one type of pitch that can bring joy to others and healing to the soul. Just like singing or having a voice, it is a gift. But this pitch can be elusive and not easily attainable. The desire to attain it may not be enough to overcome all of pitfalls along the way. The Coach knows the best way to learn your pitch and is the only One worthy to lead you there.There will be many voices around you telling you what you should and shouldn't do, think, or feel. The Opposition wants us to stay down when we get dizzy and never see the light. But there is good news! My Coach has never left my side. He knew the pitch before I did. He has trained my mind and heart to be ready when the time came. It was unexpected so I was hurt, but now I can choose to pursue brilliance, and my perfect pitch. My perfect pitch may not look that way on the outside and I may not see it for awhile. That's part of my definition. A refining of my character, perseverance, and faith.

For some reason I felt the need to write this in a metaphorical terms, so I hope I still conveyed everything in an understandable way. I also hope that this will encourage someone else who is facing trials. It is temporary. Our heavenly Father, our Mentor, our Redeemer, our Coach, has the best for His children. As I learned tonight in our reading of Proverbs 16, verse 9 states: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." So as I seek God, I am also seeking my life and what he has in store - no worry involved.

Power of a Prayer

I am past the halfway point of my last fall in school...ever. That is difficult to comprehend still. This blog has been going off and on for 3 years now and I've learned a lot in that time. Today I am reminded of the power of a prayer, also the title of a Matthew West song. The song reminded me that I am not to worry about anything because I can hand over everything to God with just a prayer. One of the best things about prayer is that it can change the person who prays and it can change the person it is about. Over the summer and during all my travels, I know that people are praying for me because I asked them to. But I am confident and can feel that people pray for me during the school year as well. Otherwise I would not make it through. Whenever I feel overwhelmed that's what turns things around and gives me another perspective. Try it and see. It does not have to be full of formal terminology, just your heart. The freedom that follows is more satisfying than any other choice I make on earth. Another piece of the power comes in action....living changed. That is easier said than done and its why prayer is a spiritual discipline.
So to those who pray for me, thank you for helping me grow and teaching me the power of a prayer. May we all use this valuable tool to "be the change we want to see in the world".

On my Mind, In my Heart

Friday, September 7

I have just completed my second week of my last year of school. Never knew that I would be here. Here in Abilene, TX, here in graduate school. Lots of things have been on my mind recently. Questions about my future seem to spark other thoughts about the world at large and my place in it all. Bear with me as I attempt to write about some of these things.

In no particular order, the political stirrings for the upcoming election, my babies in Zambia, friends leaving, and what to do when I graduate all play a role. I really have never cared for politics, but it is a topic that I have always talked to my Dad about. He is my role-model for many things and voting for government officials is one of them. My Dad listens to both "parties" and then being led by the Spirit makes his decisions. That should not be a surprise to anyone, because that's the way his whole life is. And that's the way yours and mine should be as well. If we ask God to be involved in and guide our other decisions, what makes voting any different. I have come to realize that no one man can change America. It takes all of us. That day may never come where we can all be united for a cause because greed has entered the world. I daily remind myself of who owns the world and that this is not my home anyway. I could go more into depth about religion v. politics, politics v. government, but I do not care to debate about it.

Everything has a connection in my brain. Politics makes me think about the other places in the world that I have been. The governments there, the people it affects, why I love that country and God's teachings about everything. I have been reading Isaiah. I am no Bible scholar, but a prophesy is something that is to happen in the future, good or bad. The people of Israel were told many times about turning their hearts to God. When they would cry out He would help them, but He truly wanted a relationship with His people. It was their choice to turn away all those years. I see many parallels in our country today. There were times of good kings and bad kings (good government/bad government). I may not be articulating all of this well, but it does tell you what rolls around in my head. Coming back this summer from Zambia and Peru, I was changed. It was this week that I found out that a third baby that I worked with had passed away. My heart was not prepared this time. My life is abundantly rich compared to these babies, but that doesn't mean they are any less deserving of a long, healthy life. Remember what I said at the beginning of this post, that I never thought I would be here...I am thankful now for each and every moment.

Last night I looked at all the babies faces again as I talked with some friends of mine. They would always be frozen in time at that age and that state of being. My heart still overflows with hope for those that remain and joy for the time I was able to spend with them. That leads into my friends leaving Abilene. I was born and raised here. Went to four years of college and two years of grad school here. So I have seen many people come and go, always wishing that I could freeze those years as well. God has a purpose and a plan for each person. He knows who and what I need, when I need it and His timing is perfect. So whether He calls me to a job here in Abilene, in Texas, in the U.S., or somewhere else in the world, I will be taken care of. I trust that friends will arise and relationships will form as they always have. He will use my gifts for His glory whatever the circumstance, as long as I choose love Him with all my heart.

Hope this was encouraging to someone even though it was my thoughts. Remember who you are and whose you are!

Machu Piccu and Beyond

Final installment of my summer 2012...

Once our time in Lima was complete, some of the group went home and others went to Machu Piccu. I was really excited to be in the second group! We flew to Cusco and stayed there. Upon arriving I was not feeling too well due to the extreme altitude change...Lima is at sea level and Cusco is at 10,000 feet...but after sleeping all afternoon in a comfy bed, I was ready to explore.

I may or may not have mentioned the unique foods that I tried in Peru. Ceviche and alpaca were two of them. The first is a raw fish that is marinated in lemon juice and the alpaca is related to a llama, a meat without cholesterol. We were also able to finish our shopping in Cusco as well as a beautiful street market in  Pisaq. Unlike the markets in Zambia, these shop keepers are willing to bring down the price and only sell you the item that you ask about. No stress for this buyer!

After finally getting our bearings, we were leaving again for the ruins of Machu Piccu. To get there you must take a train down to a town called Aguas Calientes at 6,000 feet, then take a bus on switchbacks up to 8,000 feet. Too much change at once is hard for the body. Despite that, we were all extremely thrilled to see this place that we had only seen in books. Out tour guides gave lots of information and took good care of us. My group went up onto the peak that overlooks the ruins first, then made our way down into them. Look at my pictures on Facebook. It was uncharacteristically warm that day and I did not dress correctly, but it was still worth it. There is one peak that they only let 400 people climb a day. The oldest person that our tour guide took up there was 82 years old...my sister and I want to go on my 83 birthday...haha! It will probably happen before that day but oh well.

At long last, it was time to return back to the U.S. or at least we thought. There is only one United flight that leaves Lima for Houston. Once our plane arrived that night, the rumored "strike" came across as a dud fuel filter in our plane. Four hours later, after waiting/sleeping in the terminal, the attendants told us that we needed to leave and come back tomorrow. Another 2 hours later, we were watching the sun come up as we stood in line for hotel vouchers and food vouchers. That was the least they could do for all the trouble. But wait...there's more.  We had to figure out how to get to the Sheraton. A charter bus came to pick us up:

Problem 1: It was very old and should have retired.
Problem 2: Not enough luggage space
Problem 3: Not enough seats
Problem 4: As it pulled out of the parking lot with all but 10 people on it, it dropped its transmission never making it out the gate and everyone had to pile off again.

Now it was just funny!
We finally got into taxis (the VIP taxis if I'm not mistaken) and made it to the hotel (quite an accomplishment in Lima traffic). Running on naps that we took in the terminal and the taxi, we ate and fell into our beds. Whew! Never wish to do that part again.

The rest is history. We made it home a day late and my sister and I were surprised with new (to us) cars! I sadly was sick and waited another 3 days to enjoy it. All is well now and I am digesting it all. What I learned, what I enjoyed and what's next.

This "World Traveler" is tired and content. Who knows what this last year of school holds for me.
Thanks for reading!